Maybe I just want someone to keep me company

I wish that I could somehow give up my life for someone who deserves it. I feel so lost and hopeless and I wish that I could somehow die without everyone around me, my family, being hurt by it. I was really excited when I got my dog, but now I wish I hadn't because I don't know who will take care of her when I die. But I just want to die and have everything over with. I feel pathetic. I want to lay in bed and cry for the rest of the day but I can't make myself cry to get it out of my system, so I just lay in bed and think about dying. There are so many people who are dying and don't want to. I wish I could trade with them. It's not fair. It's the only thing that I could give and I can't give it.

If you commit suicide but you're an organ donor, do you still go to hell?